domingo, 9 de março de 2008

ONZE, MEIA-NOITE, UMA DA MANHÃ...

Inspiradíssimo na voz de Ella Fitzgerald

Enoc tinha exatamente 42. E acabara de pedir divórcio. O casamento de duas décadas cessara, durou mais que o tempo devido às crianças. Situação chata, com toda a certeza. E foi neste clima que conhecera Lila, jovem, bonita, universitária e um pouco mais velha que sua primogênita. No começo não quisera nada de sério: chamou-a para um chopinho no boteco ao lado do trabalho. Conversaram e só. Contudo trocaram telefone e a promessa de um ligar ao outro vindouramente.
Pediu conselho ao amigo Nélio, também advogado.
“Ela é gostosa ?!”, pergunta o amigo.
“Gostosa como ?!”
“Ué, gostosa gostosa...”
“Bom, ela é gostosa... de se conversar.”
“Hum, já disse tudo: é gorda... Sai fora !”
Enoc então para de limpar os lábios no guardanapo e, como num assombro rápido, diz:
“Ela não é gorda ! É até bem magra, bonita, cabelos aloirados, uns olhos de se perder lá dentro...”
E Nélio, depois do gole na cerveja:
“Então aí a coisa muda: ataca !”
“E ela curte Ella Fitzgerald...”
“Como ?! Gostosa e curte Ella Fitzgerald ?! De duas uma: ou ela não é gostosa ou ela esta mentindo quanto ao gosto por jazz...”
“Ué, e que mal há numa jovem que curta jazz ?!”
“Nos meus 40 anos...”
“44, 44...”
“Tá bom: 44. Estes detalhes de idade são meros detalhes...”
“Bem, prossiga...”
“OK. Nos meus quarentas e tantos anos de vida eu nunca, disse nunca, nunca conheci uma jovem que gostasse de jazz. Tão pouco de Ella Fitzgerald... Quantos anos ela tem mesmo ?!”
“23...”
“Mentira ! Pode acreditar que ela ta mentindo ! 23 e curte Ella Fitzgerald ?! Não existe !!!!”
“Não tou entendo o porquê de seu abismar...”
“Enoc, a garota diz ter 23...”
“Cê mesmo não acabou de falar que detalhes de idade são meros detalhes ?!”
“Bem, bem...”, e Nélio bica mais um golinho da cerveja, “... Nós somos homens. E de quarenta !!! Ela não é. Aí se configura uma grande diferença...”

Sentindo que o amigo não resolveria a questão, Enoc toma a mais hipnótica de suas decisões: liga para a Lila. Disca os números, do outro lado o telefone toca uma, duas, três vezes...
“Alô ?!”, a voz levemente rouca, mais pra Holliday que para Fitzgerald.
“Lila ?!”
“Enoc ?!”
“É...”
“Esperava que você ligasse...”
Do outro fone, o homem sua frio. Dá algumas batucadas na estante em que se encontra o aparelho. Roça os mesmos dedos no maço do menta. Tenta balbuciar algo, contudo só soa monossílabos.
“Topas um drikzinho aqui em casa ?! Tou ouvindo o “These are the blues”...”
Conhecia o álbum. Era Fitzgerald. O Nélio estava enganado, assim como imaginara...
“Topas ?!”, insiste.
Titubeou, mas aceitou: nove horas, na casa dela.

Barbeou-se, passou uma colônia e olhou no espelho: queria ter mais cabelo. Sua calvície (temor de sua adolescência) realçava mais suas olheiras. Escovou os dentes com bastante assepsia, passando o fio dental por várias vezes. Já havia deixado o blazer que vestiria para a ocasião por cima da cama, assim como a dúvida eterna entre os sapatos marrons ou pretos. Decidiu pelos primeiros, já que combinavam com o blazer. Mais uma visualizada no espelho (desta vez o do quarto) e olhos no relógio: oito e meia. Mais do que depressa procurou as chaves do carro e enquanto descia pelo elevador pensava se comprava ou não algumas flores. Passou antes numa loja de conveniência e, além das flores, acabou por providenciar um prosseco.
Chegou ao apartamento indicado por ela, entrou e logo se identificou ao porteiro. Este interfonou ao apartamento indicado e logo fora lhe permitido a entrada. Apertou o 702 e cada subida do elevador era um semi-drama dentro de si. Num determinado momento entrou um jovem casal e logo Enoc imaginou que a “inexistente fã de Fitzgerald” tinha um ou dois anos a mais que sua filha mais velha. Condenou-se e demorou por tocar a campainha. Dava pra ouvir de fora a canção que Lila estava por escutar.
“É Fitzgerald mesmo…”, logo completando o pensamento, “…“Trouble In Mind”...”
Respirou e enquanto se embananava entre o pacote com o vinho e as flores, a porta entreabriu-se:
“Oi... Que foi ?! Demorou para tocar a campainha ?!”
Ela usava um vestido meio esverdeado, quase curto e ombros despidos. Carregara pouco na maquiagem, um discreto baton e sardas perto da região nasal, o que a deixava mais sexy sempre. Convidou-o para entrar e pediu para não notar na bagunça. Ele sentou-se no sofá, sem antes ofertar o que havia em suas mãos.
“Não precisava... Este prosseco é divino...”, disse a moça, realçando a penúltima sílaba da última palavra, feito criança. Depois desta Enoc tomou noção da idade real da moça.
“Tem fome ?!”, indaga Lila.
“Hã ?!”
“Te perguntei se tem fome. Você já jantou ?!”
“Não, não... Mas tenho fome não.”
Ela coloca as flores (eram hortênsias) num vaso meio opaco.
“Você é fã mesmo da Fitzgerald...”
“Eu a-do-ro esta mulher !!!”.
Ele passou a odiar inconscientemente a forma como ela divide algumas palavras num discurso desnecessário de tal recurso. Mas não falou isto e pegou a capa do vinil que rolava na vitrola. Tinha cheiro de velho, de sebo. Percebeu o detalhe da capa, o desenho pintado, meio borrado, a Ella gravada em lábios vermelhos...
“Eu tive este vinil...”, disse, “...Mas acabei perdendo. Nossa...”, completou virando e revirando capa e contracapa.
“Este disco é o meu xodó. Tenho outras coisas dela, muitos em CD ou baixadas do computador. Mas este vinil pra mim tem um gostinho especial. O chiadinho entre uma faixa e outra é mantra...”, e tenta cantarolar a canção que no momento estava a tocar.
“É raro encontrar garotas na sua idade que curtam Ella Fitzgerald...”, diz Enoc pensando no quão óbvio estava sendo.
“Sou muito além do óbvio. Por que vocês homens acham que uma garota interessante tenha sempre que gostar só de Marisa Monte ou de Janis Joplin ?! Caramba, eu gosto de jazz !!! E daí ?! Foda-se o mundo lá fora viu...”
Não achava nada elegante mulher dizendo palavrão, mas aceitou quase em aplausos o protesto da garota. E então ela insiste:
“Tem certeza que não está com fome ?! Qualquer coisa eu preparo algo bem rapidinho e...”
Lila emudece quando vê Enoc levantar-se e andar em direção dela.
“Talvez eu esteja até com fome. Mas estou com fome de outra coisa...”
E a moça deixa-se envolver pelos braços do homem. Os dois se olham. Queriam dizer algo que só eles entendiam naquele momento. Contornou, ternamente, o dedo pelo traçado do rosto feminino, parecia querer sorver todo o perfume exalado do instante. Suas bocas entreabriam num molhar de saliva e desejos... Ele abaixou uma das alças do vestido da garota, deixando-o inteiramente nu. Embalavam-s e ao som de “Hear Me Talking To Ya”, mais balado, contudo inebriante para a ocasião.
“É, é...é a última faixa...”, gagueja Lila.
“Sei, sei...”, respirou e logo pigarreou, “...Pode parecer até loucura, mal a conheço, você é tão mais jovem e...”
“Diz mais nada não...”.
Parecia pedir o tal “óbvio utópico” que escutara numa canção que seu filho do meio gostava. Enoc pensou nele também, assim como na filha mais velha (“apenas alguns anos mais nova...”), na ex-esposa, nas palavras do Nélio, na Ella Fitzgerald que acabava de tocar numa vitrola, no palavrão da menina que indicava uma rebeldia... Lila repete, quase afônica:
“Diz nada não...nada...”

Uns acharam polêmico, muitos não gostaram e alguns até amaldiçoaram o novo casal. Chovia bastante no dia em que assinaram papéis. Ainda tiveram um filho, viveram juntos até um cansar do outro. Mas o que Enoc nunca esquecia era daquele disco, Fitzgerald e aquelas onze, meia-noite, uma da manhã...

(2007)

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